Thinking Aloud
Monday, March 29, 2004 Issue 5   VOLUME 1 ISSUE 5  
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Igniting and Leading Change
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Ask Liz
Dear Liz,
 
A dear friend and former colleague at work is getting married. We have been friends for many years and have helped each other in so many ways over the years. She told me that she'd love to have me as one of her bridesmaids, but I am six months pregnant and she doesn't want to mess up the look of the pictures. I was horrified, but I didn't say anything. Is this wrong of me, or is she being totally shallow?
 
Jane
 
Dear Jane,
 
Whoa! That is surely shallow. You were kind not to say anything. Oftentimes in these situations, a good friend will make an awful gaffe like this and later, when she comes to her senses, realize the mistake she's made and beg your forgiveness. It's up to you whether to say anything now and also whether to forgive her if and when she comes around. In days past, brides chose their bridesmaids (or matrons of honor, for that matter) on the basis of friendship rather than silhouette. If you feel like sending her a message, you might wait for the wedding photos and say, "What lovely photos! How fortunate for you that all of your friends are so attractive. It's a good thing you don't have any unattractive or chunky friends like some poor brides do." Or you could leave it alone - living well, after all, is the best revenge.
 
Cheers,
Liz
 
Every week Liz Ryan, founder of WorldWIT, will answer questions readers have about their career paths, jobs, balancing work with their families and any other life issues pertinent to women.  If you have a question you would like Liz to answer in a future issue of Thinking Aloud please write to Lauren Calkins, Thinking Aloud's Editor at
laurenc@worldwit.org.

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