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Monday, March 22, 2004
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VOLUME 1
ISSUE 4
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Issue Archive
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Issue 3
March 15, 2004
Vol. 1
Issue 3
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Issue 2
March 8, 2004
Vol. 1
Issue 2
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Issue 1
March 1, 2004
Vol. 1
Issue 1
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WorldWIT Radio
http://www.w3w3.com/WorldWIT-Radio/
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If Women Only Knew What They Know
by Carol Kinsey Goman
Years ago I met with the management team of a California company that was relocating out of state. A few days later, the president of the company telephoned me to talk with me about his administrative assistant.
"She is probably the brightest, most creative person I've worked with," the president told me. "Problem is, she can't move her family out of state. I was wondering if you would see her for a private counseling session, so that when she applies for a new job, she'll come across just as terrific as she really is. I'll even pay for the session."
I looked forward to meeting this talented woman.
"This is a real pleasure. I've heard so many nice things about you," I said when we met. "Tell me about yourself. What is it that you do exceptionally well?"
The woman was silent for several seconds. Finally she sighed and said, "I really don't know. I do a lot of things well, but when I do them, I don't notice."
The problem was clear. She simply didn't know what she knew.
Because "unconscious competence" is more prevalent in women, they are at a distinct disadvantage. Women are less likely to speak up in meetings, less likely to believe that their contributions are valuable, and more likely to personalize failure while externalizing success.
For many women, the challenge is to develop "conscious competence." There are a number of strategies to help do this.
1) Focus on your strengths. Everyone has areas of lesser and greater talents, and although it can be helpful to acknowledge weaknesses and seek guidance or training to develop those areas, there is nothing more frustrating than striving vainly to excel in areas where one has little or no natural ability.
2) "Own" your successes. I was coaching a top executive in a Fortune 500 company. After a particularly productive session, the executive complimented me. "You really know a lot," he said. "In addition to great communication skills, you have good common sense." Unprepared, I answered, "Oh . . . I've just worked with a lot of talented people." And in that moment, I completely retreated from my success. What I should have said then is the same thing I'm reminding other women to say under similar circumstances: "Thank you."
3) Publicize your successes. Notice (and record in a weekly "success log") when you do something exceptionally well. Then tell others about it! One woman I know came up with a creative solution to the oft-heard lament that her boss seldom noticed accomplishments. She put a hand-painted sign on her desk and jokingly displayed it whenever she had a significant achievement. What started out as an office gag is now her favorite ritual. The sign reads, "I just did something wonderful. Ask me about it!"
4) Take advantage of all opportunities to develop your abilities. The Office Support Network (OSN) is an organization of office and clerical workers at S.C. Johnson Wax that reports to the head of Human Resources. When I spoke at the network's annual dinner meeting, the chairwoman of the steering committee (also a library clerk) hired me and made all the financial and travel arrangements for my engagement. Her experience with OSN greatly enhanced her opinion of her abilities: "This program has given me a whole new view of myself. For the first time, I feel that I'm a true professional with a lot to offer."
5) Recognize the value of what you have to offer. The more organizations need teamwork and collaboration, the more valuable are managers and team leaders who can foster collaborative environments. And it is here where women excel. The best of these female leaders model openness, vulnerability, and honesty. They tell stories of group successes and personal challenges. They understand the necessity of building trust among team members. Most of all, they respect and acknowledge everyone's contribution.
And, hopefully, they know how well they're doing it.
Carol Kinsey Goman, Ph.D. is an international speaker, consultant, and author of nine books, including "Ghost Story: A Modern Business Fable" and "This Isn't the Company I Joined: How to Lead in a Business turned Upside Down." She can be reached by email: cgoman@ckg.com, phone: 510-526-1727, or through her web site: www.CKG.com.
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Carol Kinsey Goman
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Copyright © 2004 WorldWIT, Inc.. All rights reserved.
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