What are they teaching in those journalism schools? For most of us, just following news events is enough to prompt the question. But journalists themselves became fretful over the question recently when Columbia University suspended its search for a new dean for its Graduate School of Journalism in order to re-examine its mission.

The introspection prompted concern among professors and some alumni that the school might ditch courses on the “gritty basics of the craft” in favor of “ethereal courses in communications theory and the like,” says New York Times Columnist Clyde Haberman.

The topic is of concern to us all, Haberman claims, because “The news media is widely cast as a modern Wizard of Oz, all-knowing and all powerful, deciding everything from the popularity of Britney Spears to whether the United States goes to war with Iraq.” So Haberman, who acknowledges he never attended J school, came up with some course content of his own.

His suggestions include:

The wise use of technology…which boils down to teaching J school students to always carry a pencil. “Computers crash, Palm Pilots fail, ballpoint pens freeze in harsh cold and felt-tip pens are useless when covering something like a fire; the spray from the hoses washes away the ink. Pencils never let you down — as long as you keep them sharp, of course."

Select foreign languages with care. Pashto is great if you want “to sleep on a mud floor in Kandahar.” French, on the other hand, prepares the budding reporter for an assignment in Paris and evenings in all those restaurants run by Alain Ducasse (whose name, by the way, means “Give me your wallet”.

Avoid clichés like…well, you know that one already.

Never enter a dangerous situation with a photographer. “Photographers are crazy. The best ones are absolutely nuts. They stand right there while people are shooting at each other. You can get hurt that way.”

Never prepare expense account statements when you are in a good mood. “The tendency is to err in the company’s favor. They will make out far better when really angry.”

More recently at the University of Maryland, eager young journalism students basked in the aging glow of news reporting icons Bob Woodward and Carl Bernstein. The pair made a rare joint appearance, and according to Baltimore Sun Staff Writer John Woestendick, held the youngsters quite in awe despite the two-generation age difference.

Bernstein’s comments leave little doubt what he thinks is appropriate journalism school content. “What we did was the basic kind of traditional, non-glamorous reporting that almost always works,” he said of the pair’s Watergate reporting. “Sadly, instead of the legacy of Watergate being to have this kind of methodical reporting…the real trend in journalism in the last 25 to 30 years has been the dominance of gossip, sensationalism and less regard of the truth.”

“Our manners are awful. We go around shouting and screaming so often when we really ought to be conducting a conversation,” he added.

Woodword also lamented modern journalism’s compulsion with immediacy. “We live in an environment where everyone wants the latest, and the latest often is wrong and is irrelevant,” he said. “You can’t understand a man in an afternoon, but we’ve set up a system where you’re expected to.”