Media Unspun will suspend publication Dec. 13, a week from tomorrow. That's right: Our luck runs out on Friday the 13th.

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JG

United Airlines' parent company had better apply for a really lenient credit card, because the government has refused to guarantee $1.8 billion of a $2 billion loan to the airline. More realistically, the company had better start filing Chapter 11. Many of us have shuffled debts from one card to another, but that's harder when you owe $875 million by Monday.

The Air Transportation Stabilization Board (ATSB) was the group to stamp a big "REJECTED" on UAL's request by a 2-1 vote (one board member deferred until he can see more financial data). The "obscure federal agency charged with reviving the airline industry," as the Chicago Tribune put it, was created after Sept. 11 to oversee airline loan guarantees. Its other mission seems to be verbally smacking around United. Its statement said the airline's rejuvenation plan "does not support the conclusion that there is a reasonable assurance of repayment and would pose an unacceptably high risk to U.S. taxpayers." United assumed an unrealistic passenger revenue rebound, hasn't given enough consideration to competition from low-cost carriers, and still has the highest costs in the airline industry, explained the Contra Costa Times. The ATSB could reconsider, but that's only likely if United changes its ways more dramatically than Justin Timberlake going punk.

The union raged at the ATSB's rejection, and the Washington Post's Steven Pearlstein called the decision "the latest example of Washington's reluctance to do anything that smacks of direct interference in the economic marketplace, even when markets have failed." Board member Edward Gramlich said, "These are hard decisions, and I certainly feel for the affected employees," but hey, we've got to watch out for taxpayer money.

So whether you like this decision might come down to whether you're a taxpaying United employee. As usual, when a company is in peril, the media seeks out angst from anxiety-ridden employees. The Washington Post found something unexpected: a group of mechanics who seemed angrier at their union than at the ATSB. Some "said they were so tired of the long-running labor battles at United that they were willing to see if they could do better in bankruptcy court," reported the Post. The Denver Post found a more typical response from an anonymous pilot who blamed the ATSB and pictured himself "wearing an apron at the Home Depot."

Reuters reported a development that added insult to injury -- and injury to insult, come to think of it. The FAA announced Wednesday that it proposed an $805,000 fine against United for using the wrong type of tape for wing repairs. Sorry, FAA, get in line. - Jen Muehlbauer

Feds Ground United Loan Proposal
http://www.suntimes.com/output/news/cst-fin-united05.html

Complete Coverage: Crisis At United
http://www.nytimes.com/business/businessspecial/

No Federal Guarantee for United
http://www.bayarea.com/mld/bayarea/business/4671431.htm

Decision on United Continues a Hands-Off Policy
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/articles/A11028-2002Dec4.html

Setback for United (Denver Post)
http://tinyurl.com/3919

United in Name Only
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/articles/A11032-2002Dec4.html

FAA Proposes $805,000 Fine Against United (Reuters)
http://tinyurl.com/391a

Doggone it, country-clubbers allege, it's just not right to make an unsolicited bid for a man's company while he's in jail. But in the aggressive spirit of the season, the nation's largest mall owner, Simon Property, is shopping for a new acquisition. Not just any bauble, mind you, but Taubman Centers, also owners of ritzy malls. The corporate tale, brewing for weeks, is now fronting national business pages, and its bare-fisted details are looking a lot unlike Christmas.

Simon has offered $17.50 a share for Taubman, to which the family, which owns a controlling interest, replied, move on, please, we're not interested. Not among the decision-makers was 70-something founder, A. Alfred Taubman, in jail for price-fixing related to Sotheby's auction house, also owned by the Taubmans. This media-friendly detail adds more to the intrigue -- and apparently elicits sympathy in some quarters. Going after a guy when he's a jailbird is somehow wrong, or so the Detroit Free-Press implied in what seemed a strangely sentimental angle on Taubman Centers, which is based in nearby Bloomfield Hills. The Freep thought enough of the following comment from socialite/crime commentator Dominick Dunne to give it fourth-paragraph placement in a Nov. 14 story: "I suppose that's what business ethics have come to, but it just sounds very ungentlemanly to me."

That seems awfully thin-skinned, not to mention contrary to the philosophy of our favorite fictional family man, Vito Corleone ("It's not personal; it's business."). But perhaps we're simply too middle-class to understand, too much a part of the fish-sticks crowd to understand the champagne class. Because the New York Times, too, picked up on the monied aspect of the mall barons. The Simon-Taubman smackdown has "created a rift in the clubby world of real estate investors," wrote the Times, which also snagged this gem of a quote from an unnamed investor in both companies: "In our little world, this situation is a bit -- how would you say it? -- uncouth."

Simon, however, is using the fickle winds of business fashion to cast the Taubmans as ungentlemanly. As the Indianapolis Star pointed out in a column, corporate machinations are out in this post-Enron era of shareholders rights. Simon capitalized on that sentiment by going public and to the SEC with the claim that the Taubmans' controlling interest in the company wasn't properly disclosed to shareholders. Now they can't overturn it without a two-thirds vote -- a mathematical impossibility given the Taubmans' 36% share.

Simon also has its checkbook out, with the Wall Street Journal and the New York Times reporting that the company has upped its offer to $18 and is filing a lawsuit to invalidate the Taubman family's control. If Taubman loses what's expected to be a prolonged court battle, it looks like the company may sleep with Luca Brasi. - Deborah Asbrand

Mall Giant Guns for Taubman Company
http://www.freep.com/money/business/taub14_20021114.htm

Taubman Empire in Turmoil
http://www.freep.com/money/business/taub23_20021123.htm

Two Families, Two Empires and One Big Brawl at the Mall
http://www.nytimes.com/2002/12/01/business/yourmoney/01MALL.html

Simon's Bid For Taubman May Get Nastier, Expert Says
http://www.detnews.com/2002/business/0211/15/b01-11076.htm

Simon Unveils Offer For Rival
http://www.indystar.com/article.php?simon14.html

Simon smells blood. Taubman uninterested. To be continued.
http://www.indystar.com/print/articles/5/001430-1585-032.html

Taubman Guilty in Art Auction Scandal
http://www.freep.com/money/business/taub6_20011206.htm

Taking a Shopping-Center Feud to the Shareholders
http://www.nytimes.com/2002/12/05/business/05PLAC.html

Simon to Boost Its Offer For Mall Rival Taubman
http://online.wsj.com/article/0,,SB103906185470548753,00.html
(Paid subscription required.)

You've Got Tunes, Like It or Not
http://www.wired.com/news/culture/0,1284,56687,00.html

Kann Gives Angry WSJ-ers A New Lesson In Capitalism
http://www.nypost.com/business/63691.htm

Warner R(Emi)x
http://www.nypost.com/business/63673.htm

AOL Staffers Fear Job Cuts (Wall Street Journal)
http://www.msnbc.com/news/843531.asp

Microsoft Judge Renews Support for Sun Plan
http://www.latimes.com/business/la-fi-microsoft5dec05,0,6359317.story

So...You're Thinking Of Going To Nursery School!
http://www.salon.com/comics/boll/2002/12/05/boll/index.html

Copyedited by Jim Duffy (jimduffy86@yahoo.com).

Editor and publisher: Jimmy Guterman (guterman@vineyard.com).

Media Unspun is produced by The Vineyard Group Inc.
Copyright 2002 Media Unspun, Inc., and The Vineyard Group, Inc.