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The Pope is Catholic. Pigs like mud. William Webster has quit the SEC's new Public Company Accounting Oversight Board. Come on, if you didn't see that one coming, you haven't been reading any business news this month.

We'll keep our rehash shorter than other outlets did -- in other words, the Let's Review section will comprise less than 90% of the article. (If you don't know by now why these guys are in trouble, you probably don't care, either.) SEC boss Harvey Pitt quit on Election Night, perhaps hoping the news would get buried under pages of Republican triumph, but he's still on the job. Then Robert Herdman, the SEC's chief accountant, pink-slipped himself. Now Webster's resignation is making headlines, albeit pretty boring ones.

"Webster Makes It Official, Leaves Accounting Board," yawned the Wall Street Journal. Not only was Webster's departure predictable, he'd hinted at it to the press. The timing could have been better: Webster's resignation letter (kindly reprinted by several outlets) was dated Monday, and the new oversight board's first meeting is today. "With no leader, no offices, no staff, and an uncertain agenda, the board created to police the accounting industry is set to meet for the first time today to begin the mammoth task of building a new regulatory system," said the Washington Post. Why the rush to forge ahead with no boss? Maybe it's that the board "is required by law to be functioning by late April, although" -- we don't understand this, either -- "there is no penalty for its not meeting that deadline," said the New York Times. Board member Willis Gradison was quoted as saying, "We'll just get on with it. ... By golly, we'll meet that deadline of April 26." Fills you with confidence, no?

Another notable quotable came from SEC Commissioner Roel Campos, who stated the obvious by telling Reuters he hoped Webster's replacement would be "qualified and can give confidence to investors." Could it be John Biggs, whom Pitt passed over for Webster in the first place? Campos said "we're not ruling anything out," and Biggs told the Wall Street Journal, "If asked, under the right circumstances, I might think about it." We suspect those who voted against Biggs the first time won't like him any better now, since the vote seemed to be partisan -- but then, we can't pretend to understand the SEC's thought process.

The New York Times said replacing Webster may be even more important than replacing Pitt, since not knowing who the boss will be might make potential staff members reluctant to accept an oversight board gig. "The net result is that the new accounting board, which is supposed to set rules for conducting audits and then judge how well auditing firms live up to their responsibilities, will get off to a very slow start," wrote the Times' Floyd Norris. Maybe 2002 won't be the Year of the Corporate Clean-Up after all. Surprised? - Jen Muehlbauer

Accounting Board Chief Webster Steps Down (Reuters)
http://tinyurl.com/2nhh

Webster Quits Accounting Board (AP)
http://tinyurl.com/2nhi

Webster Makes It Official, Leaves Accounting Board
http://online.wsj.com/article/0,,SB1037129811475470548,00.html
(Paid subscription required.)

Help Wanted at the S.E.C.; Help Needed for Reforms
http://www.nytimes.com/2002/11/13/business/13SEC.html

Accounting Board to Meet Amid Disarray
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/articles/A45834-2002Nov12.html

Webster's Resignation Letter
http://tinyurl.com/2nhg

With two key meetings approaching, the sagging ISP is straightening its tie and hoping to get real pretty, real fast. As for the renewed vision of itself that it will present, AOL is officially mum. Hmm. Won't that create a "drumbeat of anticipation and pressure from Wall Street," as the New York Times put it? Absolutely -- and let's not forget the media, too, which are sure to produce their own boom-chuck-a-luck-a of off-the-record leaks in the race to get the story first.

In the meantime, say goodbye to yet another AOL exec. Today's resignation is from James de Castro, prez of AOL's interactive services for a mere seven months. Nice guy, but out of luck, according to the media's spin. To the Washington Post, de Castro is out because of declining ad sales at AOL. Worse for de Castro's ego was the Post's report that analysts shrugged off his leave-taking. AOL's too top-heavy anyway, they theorized. To the New York Times, however, de Castro's departure is AOL politics as usual. Replacing de Castro will be Ted Leonsis, an AOL gazillionaire who ran the service from 1993 to 1996, by the Post's records. Leonsis and his initiatives were pushed aside by the now-gone Bob Pittman, who recruited de Castro, who was pushed aside in favor of new AOL prez Jon Miller. Re-enter Leonsis.

Already the guessing has begun as to what AOL will present in three weeks, first in a meeting with its board, and then in one on Dec. 3 with Wall Street. The idea, according to the Times, is to spiff itself up to attract more broadband users. AOL's flagging fortunes, and AOL-TW's tanked stock price, have produced a new interest in content-sharing among the empire's film, TV, and magazine units. But don't get too excited. Confluence may be coming, but if the Times' inside skinny on AOL's idea of "fresh material" is any indication, it'll be a yawn. The Times' examples? Well, an online poll about actress Winona Ryder's trial for shoplifting was popular among AOL users. (What, you mean like the stuff MSNBC.com has been doing since forever?) Then there's a Web site about sleeping well, culled from the contents of the magazine Real Simple, that was popular, too. (Our Google search for "how to sleep better" came up with 2.2 million hits.)

How excited will the AOL-TW board be that it just spent $110 million to increase its stake in the WB Network? Probably not nearly as excited as the New York Post was to report the news yesterday. The agreement is part of a deal AOL-TW negotiated with WB Network founding exec Jamie Kellner when it promoted him to CEO of Turner Broadcasting in 2001. The Los Angeles Times' follow-up coverage today noted the deal was designed to eliminate conflict of interest on Kellner's part, given that WB is now one of several networks he oversees. It bumps AOL-TW's stake to 77.5%, from the current 66.5%.

The L.A. Times politely credited the Post with first reporting the news, then scoffed that "many at AOL Time Warner have been well aware" of it. Was the Times also? Its parent, Tribune Co., owns the remaining 22.5%. - Deborah Asbrand

AOL Loses Another Executive
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/articles/A46076-2002Nov12.html

New Top-Level Change at AOL Could Foretell Fresher Content
http://www.nytimes.com/2002/11/13/technology/13AOL.html

De Castro Steps Down as AOL Programming Chief
http://www.latimes.com/business/la-fi-aol13nov13001447,0,503331.story

Programming Chief at AOL Quits Post in Latest Departure
http://online.wsj.com/article/0,,SB1037113583348682228,00.html
(Paid subscription required.)

AOL Internet Boss Leaves Company (Reuters)
http://www.msnbc.com/news/833977.asp?0dm=B18KB

Kellner Ca$Hes In
http://www.nypost.com/seven/11122002/business/61898.htm

WB Founders' Stake Bought by AOL
http://www.latimes.com/business/la-fi-jamie13nov13,0,5247401.story

Microsoft to Invest $400M in India Over Three Years (AP)
http://tinyurl.com/2nhd

U.S. Indicts British Hacker
http://dc.internet.com/news/article.php/1499211

Calif. Reaches Settlement With Power Provider (L.A. Times)
http://tinyurl.com/2nhe

Supreme Court to Hear Filtering Case
http://news.com.com/2100-1023-965434.html

Spider-Man's Creator Files Suit for a Cut of the Action
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/articles/A45886-2002Nov12.html

Citigroup denies new accusations over Weill (Financial Times)
http://tinyurl.com/2noc

Copyedited by Jim Duffy (jimduffy86@yahoo.com).

Editor and publisher: Jimmy Guterman (guterman@vineyard.com).

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