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Choose your non-story: Napster's officially dead, a Communist country (China) is censoring the Internet (blocking Google), and the stock market was down. Let's take the one inspiring the most hysteria and superstition.

We suppose it's technically called "market timing," not superstition, but investors were all but buying rabbits' feet and horseshoes to ward off the bad omens of a lousy September open. "Over the past three years, the Dow has lost an average of 680 points in September." This month, it's already halfway there, and we all remember that October is famous for big crashes. This rattled investors, who the Wall Street Journal reported "returned from summer vacation eager for word suggesting that the world's economies are on the mend and that corporate profits are set to rebound." They also wanted a pony.

Instead, the Dow dropped 4.1%, and Reuters' headline screamed, "Stocks Suffer Biggest Fall Since Sept. 11." Well, some stocks. The S&P 500 had its biggest percentage decline since those dark days, but the Dow dropped 4.6% just this July. Either dive pales compared to the Japanese Nikkei Stock Average, which hit a 19-year low.

As usual, there was no one reason for the drop. Global banking crises, fear that the Japanese economy could be contagious, unencouraging data on U.S. manufacturing and unemployment, one analyst downgrading Citigroup to the rarely used "sell" rating -- take your pick. There were also plenty of political worries on the U.S. side. Memo to President Bush: This Iraq thing is freaking everyone out.

Plus, it's obvious what date is coming up. Many agreed with the analyst who told the Boston Globe, "There is concern that people want to get out of the way in case the markets fall hard on the anniversary or due to an invasion." The Houston Chronicle had the crassest observation, "Many retail observers fear the constant commemorations will keep people at home." (Right, we should be out buying stuff instead.) USA Today more delicately noted that "The Wall Street community suffered massive casualties, and it's tough to be optimistic amid the painful memories."

We've noticed that the media now refer to bear market days as selloffs, drops, tumbles, and falls -- not 2000's hyperbole of choice, "bloodbaths." Maybe journos are trying not to offend oversensitive media critics like us, or maybe Sept. 11 really did rearrange Americans' sense of what's important. Here's a hint: It's not the stock market. Just try and remember that for the rest of the month. - Jen Muehlbauer

Dow Closes Down 355 Points (AP)
http://www.chicagotribune.com/business/ats-ap_business10sep03.story

Stocks Slide in Global Selloff, Industrials Tumble 4.1%
http://online.wsj.com/markets
(Paid subscription required.)

Stocks Slump Across the Board
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/articles/A34552-2002Sep3.html

Month Gets off to Bleak Start (USA Today)
http://makeashorterlink.com/?R436230B1

The Dow Takes Another Beating, Falling 355 Points
http://www.nytimes.com/2002/09/04/business/04STOX.html

Stocks Tumble in Broad Sell-Off
http://www.latimes.com/business/la-fi-markets4sep04002048.story

Grim uncertainty throttles markets
http://www.chron.com/cs/CDA/story.hts/business/1560067

Dow Plunges 355 Points on Jitters (Boston Globe)
http://makeashorterlink.com/?H255120B1

Stocks Suffer Biggest Fall Since Sept. 11 (Reuters)
http://makeashorterlink.com/?N245110B1

The all-WorldCom news channel had a busy day Tuesday, offering lessons in career choice, email etiquette, and, well, is there anything for which Worldcom doesn't have a message?

Outlets report that WorldCom's ex-controller David Myers is haggling over a work-related package. In the old days, that might have meant negotiating with an employer over comparable perks, like stock options or juicy insider trading advantages. Today, it means discussing comparable jail time. Federal prosecutors got a 30-day extension yesterday to hammer out a plea bargain with Myers. The point of contention, according to the Wall Street Journal, has been that Myers wants his securities-fraud crimes to add up to no more than 15 years in prison, a few years shy of the 20-year max that prosecutors are currently offering. His reasoning? Hey, that's how much Enron's ex-exec Michael Kopper is facing for money laundering and wire-fraud conspiracy. Two
other WorldCom execs have already struck plea bargains. Will the trio of canaries sing convincingly enough to produce criminal charges against ex-CEO Bernie Ebbers? The Journal says it's still unclear.

Yet other lessons from WorldCom? PR is bad career choice if you want to be kept in the company loop, according to company emails released by the House Financial Services Committee. In the missives, ex-CFO Scott Sullivan agreed with a company spokeswoman who said she'd told reporters that bankruptcy wasn't an option. No liquidity issues here, Sullivan agreed with the spokeswoman -- shortly before the company filed for bankruptcy due to a cash crunch. Sullivan, we note, is due to be arraigned today in New York. According to Reuters and several other outlets. Other emails show Salomon Smith Barney analyst Jack Grubman notifying WorldCommers that the company is about to be dropped from the investment firm's list of recommended stocks -- a so-what revelation given Grubman's other transgressions.

How bad is it? Let this headline from a New York Times op-ed piece guide the way: "Before WorldCom, the Funeral Industry Set the Standard for Venality." Rest in peace. -- Deborah Asbrand

Federal Prosecutors Continue Plea Talks in WorldCom Case
http://online.wsj.com/article/0,,SB1031095142611349875,00.html?mod=us_business_whats_news
(Paid subscription required.)

Plea Talks Go On for WorldCom Executive
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/articles/A34464-2002Sep3.html

Grubman tipped WorldCom execs (Reuters)
http://www.msnbc.com/news/803056.asp

Salomon E-Mails Show Conflict Over Worldcom
http://www.nypost.com/business/56252.htm

Spitzer Widens Salomon Probe (Wall Street Journal)
http://www.msnbc.com/news/802652.asp

More Solly Follies
http://www.nypost.com/business/56246.htm

Before WorldCom, the Funeral Industry Set the Standard for Venality
http://www.nytimes.com/2002/09/03/opinion/03TUE4.html

Napster Becomes Dot-Goner After Sale Blocked
http://www.siliconvalley.com/mld/siliconvalley/3996246.htm

China Bars Web Search Engine (AP)
http://seattlepi.nwsource.com/business/85453_google04.shtml

15,500 Jobs Lost On Labor Day: Shutdown riles Teamsters
http://www.freep.com/money/business/cons4_20020904.htm

TiVo Slashing Prices to Grab Subscribers
http://www.thestreet.com/_tsclsii/tech/georgemannes/10040511.html

Company Said to Seek Chief to Succeed Martha Stewart
http://www.nytimes.com/2002/09/04/business/04MART.html

Copyedited by Jim Duffy (jimduffy86@yahoo.com).

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Editor and publisher: Jimmy Guterman (guterman@vineyard.com).

Media Unspun is produced by The Vineyard Group Inc.
Copyright 2002 Media Unspun, Inc., and The Vineyard Group, Inc.
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