Most people race around trying to achieve so many things in a day. They feel rushed, disconnected, frazzled and are sick of the rat race.

Does this describe you? Are you trying to squeeze too many things into too short a period of time? Have you forgotten why you are doing all these things in the first place?

I call this phenomenon the Have-Do-Be complex.

In general, our culture is fixated on having things in order to be a certain way.

For example, let's look at Joe. He's 45 and in order for him to be successful, he must own a home, make $250,000, and have happy kids and a loving wife. How hard is it for Joe to feel successful? I would say that it is very difficult as he has a list of stipulations that must occur before he can feel successful, and some of them are out of his control.

There's another way to "be." This is the Be-Do-Have complex. You can experience success or joy without having so many stipulations about what must occur before experiencing that feeling.

Let's look at Sue. She thinks that she can't "be healthy" unless she eats right, exercises five times a week, meditates and lifts weights. There's a lot that needs to happen for Sue in order for her to feel healthy. What would happen if Sue just felt healthy by simply breathing or whenever she ate vegetables? Then, from this place, "do" those things that she would like to do. She has access to the feeling of healthy whenever she chooses and doesn't have to run up the treadmill of "to-dos" in order to experience health.

What about Joe? Let's get back to Joe. Can he feel successful simply because he decides to be and not attach it to external circumstances? Do you think that if he decided to be happy Joe might become more successful – because people could feel it in his stance and face when he entered the room? If things didn't go so well for Joe for a period of time, could he still feel successful and experience more joy in being alive and perhaps attract success? If you were to hire someone, wouldn't it be Joe in this circumstance?

Think about yourself – are you looking for the right career to feel good about yourself? Maybe it would be better to feel good now and then make career decisions from that place.

Don't you think that you would make better decisions and experience joy more often it wasn't hinged on something else?

Suzanne Worrall is a personal and business coach for women in transition. A certified executive coach, she has a background in corporate business and psychology. For more information about Suzanne's coaching practice call 781-641-0338 or look on the Web at www.TheLookingGlassGroup.com.