Don't go in cold A week before, I research the event on the Web to get a sense of the audience. That way I could do a little research on people I want to meet and use that information to break the ice with them. Are these people entrepreneurs? CEOs? VCs? I try to know as much as I can about the crowd before going.

Diane Darling moderated the leadership panel at MassWIT's Leadership Conference

Travel light
I always wear a tasteful red jacket. There are a bazillion blue suits here. I stand out in this jacket - but not in a bad way. I carry a small leather portfolio from Levenger, about twice the size of a wallet, with two pockets: One for business cards coming in, the other for cards going out. No fumbling.

Walk the walk
I walk through the concourse confidently, smiling. Young people tend to act like beggars when they schmooze for jobs. But that sends the wrong signal. Powerful people come to these events because they want to meet other skilled, talented people. So carry yourself accordingly. Don't fold your arms. Look like you are having a good time.

Start with breakfast
Head first to the long breakfast table - but not because you're hungry. People tend to be very accessible around the food. Talking and eating go together. It's a great way to get started at an event. Carry your orange juice in your left hand so you can shake with your right.

Who's who
To find out who's there, circle the room once to scan names into memory, giving you an idea of who's in the room before you pick your targets. Don't read name tags while talking to people. Always maintain eye contact. Besides, sideways glances at name tags make you look furtive and shifty.

Approach VIPs first
I dart over to one of the morning's guest speakers, a Harvard Business School professor, a good 15 minutes before his presentation starts. Keynote speakers love to talk and can be great contacts, but after they give their speeches they're always swamped.

Spot the lone wolves
The room is crowded, so I next look for people who are standing alone. It's harder to integrate into a group. Besides, individual contact is best; one-on-one makes for the most effective networking. Just make sure you smile as you approach.

"And you are?"
The goal is to ask others about themselves so you can connect to their interests and lives. When asked about me, I say, "I'm with Effective Networking - we help companies and people figure out where to network and refine their networking skills. My name is Diane Darling." I say my name at the end so he's more likely to remember it.

Press the flesh
On your approach, be the first to extend a hand. It's an old protocol, a sign that you're eager to interact. Also: Make sure to shake hands good-bye, especially if you're a woman. It's not a natural part of a woman's repertoire of body language, as it is for men, so a good-bye handshake will be appropriate.

Feel 'em out
While talking with strangers ask open-ended questions to assess right off whether they'll be of any help. Don't go into a polished 20-second commercial about yourself. Real leaders are curious. You're trying to pass the test as a personable human being and someone with whom you want to do business.

Card exchange
I ask everyone I meet for their card before I offer my own. It's less presumptuous.

Get an introduction
After traversing the room twice, I spot the conference moderator, a player in the Boston media world. He's alone drinking coffee, but rather than approaching him solo I enlist a mutual acquaintance to give me an introduction. An intro is like an implicit endorsement, and the next time we meet, there will be that association and that context.

Give and take
The moderator mentions that he's looking to get in touch with a professor at MIT, whom I happen to know. I offer to call the professor as a way of introduction. Always try to be a connector, the person who brings people together. This not only makes me look well connected, it may also make the moderator want to return my favor.

It's a wrap
After three hours, I have talked with around two dozen new contacts. I leave the conference with plans to call these leads in the next week. Remember, you're not there to close deals or get a job. You're there to get the right to follow up with a phone call or a meeting over coffee. Even one contact like that makes the whole day worthwhile.

Reprinted from MBA Jungle Magazine, Mar/Apr 2002.

Diane Darling owns Effective Networking Inc., which teaches successful networking techniques to generate opportunity and growth. Based in Boston, the company works with corporations, professional service firms, nonprofits, educational institutions and individuals. Contact Diane at Diane@EffectiveNetworking.com or visit her Web site, www.xplane.com/x/networking.