Being laid off can be a positive experience. It can open doors that you never would have been explored if you had not been thrust into the position of searching for new opportunities. A layoff also forces you to look within, to examine whether you have been doing the right thing in the right position in the first place, and how to correct mistakes that may have been recognized through this process. It is a time of great transformation, inner reflection and personal challenge.
Yet, like any of life's transforming processes, you cannot reach the light at the end of the tunnel without experiencing the tunnel's dark passages, the journey through it, the whole trip.
When management decides to terminate employees, it can sound to you like more than letting go, even a severing of ties; rather, it can resemble the elimination of a limb, an organ, a piece of persona. To you, a loss, particularly when your identity is tied to your career.
After all, in our society, we are often defined as a human being by what we do for a living. When asked at any social gathering: "So, what do you do?" We often respond by saying, "I am a programmer/analyst/doctor/student/housewife, etc., etc."
Of course, we are so much more than our vocations. We are also wives, mothers, sisters, friends, volunteers, artists, writers, teachers, lovers and more. A layoff is the perfect time to examine if the answer to the question, "What do you do?" is a perfect fit and, if not, an ideal opportunity to make some alterations.
Sometimes, a layoff is prompted by something as brash as a few stock points or preserving executive bonuses rather than a legitimate financial crisis. That would mean it didn't matter whether you had served the company for one year or 10, whether your performance was stellar or shallow because, in the end, if the numbers made sense, you would be eliminated. That, I think, is the biggest blow to the psyche, the hardest reality of all. Inasmuch as we like to think we are the center of the universe, the truth is a layoff often has nothing to do with us one way or another, but rather is determined by many outside forces - forces that few, if any of us, can control. It is not personal.
Yet from the point of view of the employee who is being laid off, it's very personal.
Asking employees about a layoff is a lot like asking siblings how the vase broke - you'll get several different versions of the story. Your experience, positive or negative, depends largely on your relationship with your direct superior, your close peers, how well you are suited for the position you are in, the work environment, the corporate culture, etc., etc. One of the greatest mistakes you can make is to blame yourself, to overanalyze the situation. Instead of placing blame or beating yourself up, the more productive questions are:
What would work for me now?
Where do I fit?
Where do I belong?
What can I learn from this process?
What do I have the power to change?
What do I want?
And then, give yourself permission to go for it - with all your might.
Why is it that we sometimes resist what is best for us? My theory is, it is largely related to our fear of the unknown and controlling our own destiny. The unknown is the scariest place to be.
What if?
What if I can't find work right away? What will I do?
With a master's degree in Information Systems and a bachelor's in Finance, I find jobs are harder to come by than when I simply waited tables or said, "Do you want fries with that?"
Fears creep in.
Soon, however, the fears are replaced by a tingle of anticipation with the thought of new opportunities. This could be your chance to make a positive change, to have some badly needed time off, the get your house in order, to re-evaluate the future, to take control of it. A sort of induced mid-life crisis that yields fruit!
Now is the opportunity to write that prose, to consult, to re-invent yourself. It is a gift in disguise.
I think to myself: I will be exposed to new horizons that will allow me to grow and change, for the better.
The thing about change is, it often involves giving up one thing in order to gain another. And letting go is scary. However, given a positive approach, a hopeful heart, and some creative footwork, it just may turn out to be an opportunity rather than a hindrance. Just remember, the world is your oyster! Even if the search is a bit long and arduous, just beneath the surface may lay your next pearl.
And all those thoughts and fears - Bogeymen. Fiction. Lies.
Our mindspeak should be: "Tomorrow is the day that a single phone call will change my life." Or, "Today I will plant the seeds so that tomorrow's flowers may grow." Or, in the words of David Joseph Schwartz, "The pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; the optimist, the opportunity in every difficulty."
So, rejoice! Today is the first day of the rest of your life, and tomorrow may be among the best of them.
For anyone who has been laid off or is simply seeking higher ground, please utilize the following list of career-related Web sites. I have placed my top 20 picks at the top of the list. I hope they yield fruit for you, void of neuroses and rich in possibilities.
R.L.Franzi lives in Newport, Rhode Island. She is a freelance Oracle Financials Functional Consultant, Specializing in GL, FSG, ADI and AP, versions 11i, 11.03, and 10.7. She is also a freelance writer. The short story, "The Numbers Game," was published in the June edition of Peeks and Valleys, a New England Fiction Journal. Reach her at rfranzi@aol.com.
