The Gotham Gazette

April Issue   VOLUME 1 ISSUE 19  

Gotham Salutes 100th Anniversary of Edison's Invention of the Macrophone

Fostex, Zaxcom, Aaton, and Sound Devices Create World’s First 28 Track Recorder

Audio Snakes on a Plane Surprisingly Dull


 
Deva/Cantar Couple Divorces Citing “Violently Irreconcilable Differences”

After two short months the couple that everyone thought would never last…hasn’t. James Wooster, 27, of Springfield and Marion Somerset, 28, of Jordan Peaks officially signed their divorce papers Saturday, putting an end to the seeming storybook marriage. The two met at a sound mixer mixer and a whirlwind romance ensued, culminating in a February marriage earlier this year. But somehow no one thought to check their recording kits.

“It’s tragic, really, and why we strongly encourage pre-marital counseling, “ commented Ron Patchogue, a local union representative, “Clearly, these two never should have been together. James records using the Aaton Cantar X, while Marion prefers the Zaxcom Deva V. Science has proven, time and again, there’s simply no way they could compatibly cohabit the same block, much less the same apartment. In fact, we’re starting to see research that suggests Cantar and Deva users may be entirely different species, who simply live by separate time codes and can no longer procreate with each other.”

 
New Ubërcardioid Mic Allows Mixer to Hear Actors’ Thoughts

DH Technologies announced today the creation of an entirely new microphone pattern which allows the user to hear into a target’s brain. A visibly excited Orest Thompson, Chief of Operations, presented the Ubercardioid at the Lake Geneva Audio Conference. “This is an absolute revolution in sound recording, “declared Thompson, “to be able to peer at an actor’s innermost thoughts with, in the grand scheme of things, very minor discomfort.”


 
FCC Sells Off Remainder of Useful Frequencies

In a move apparently motivated mostly by spite, the FCC today transferred title to every frequency that could conceivably be used by the film and television industry. “We don’t really care what they do with it,“ explains FCC Bureau Chief Simon Creel, “as long as they cram every wavelength of it full of signal. Heck, I sold all of Block 21 to a newsboy with a pirate radio station for a quarter. Basically, we just really, really don’t want sound mixers to have it.”

 
CONTENTS
Deva/Cantar Couple Divorces Citing “Violently Irreconcilable Differences”
New Ubërcardioid Mic Allows Mixer to Hear Actors’ Thoughts
FCC Sells Off Remainder of Useful Frequencies
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