April 1, 2006
Ask a Sound Mixer!
Noted mixer Lars Bedard dispenses gnomic advice in between takes.

Dear Ask a Sound Mixer,

Lately, it seems my husband of fifteen years and I have grown apart. When he comes home at night, we never talk and don't even ask about our intimacy! We used to be best friends when we were first married. How can we regain that spark?

LONELY

Dear Lonely, Next time your husband comes home, greet him wearing nothing but a DAT recorder (or, if you're feeling particularly naughty, a Nagra IV). That's sure to pin his potentiometer in the red, so to speak! -LB


Dear Lars,

My upstairs neighbors are driving me nuts. They're always fighting loudly and slamming doors. If it's not that, they're moving furniture or vacuuming at three in the morning. I've tried asking nicely, I've tried threatening, and I've tried calling the landlord (he refuses to get involved). I'm at my wit's end. What can I do?

SLEEPLESS IN A SUBLET

Dear Sleepless,

I recommend the following:

  • One playback system
  • One DAT transfer of "The Art and Artistry of Leonard Nimoy as Arranged for Bagpipe and Steel Drum".

That ought to do it. - LB


Lars Bedard is an award-winning sound mixer and occasional raccoon aficionado


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