Kermit's right. It's not easy being green. It's enough to make a guy blue. And confused.

I started thinking about being green -- and how hard it is to do -- after seeing a story on CNN about the Smart Car being introduced in the United States next year.

One reason I'm confused is someone else introduced the Smart Car in the U.S. several years ago. I wonder if the people "introducing" it next year realize that. How embarrassing. It's like introducing yourself to someone you've already met.

Liter Bugs Get Better Mileage

I'm also confused about the Smart Car's gas mileage. One writer says it gets 40 miles per gallon, another put it at 60. And I found a story from the U.K. which put it at 100 kilometers per liter, which I calculate at 78 miles per gallon. If I ever get a Smart Car, I think I'll buy my gas in liters. It gets better mileage that way. Either that or my math is bad.

I'm not the only one who's confused apparently. The Smart Car's getting nearly as much negative coverage as positive coverage.¹ Nobody's writing much about the Prius these days, but it gets about as much negative coverage as positive coverage, too.

The building industry does much better -- with overwhelmingly positive coverage of "green buildings," which cost nearly 20 percent more than a regular building. What's the difference? There are a number of advocates in the building industry who have mobilized to support "green" construction.

There doesn't seem to be similar advocacy in the auto industry. All the car ads I see fall into one of two categories -- the screamers and the testosterone pumpers.

The screamers shout at me about how they've slashed prices to the point they're losing money on every car they sell while offering to match my down payment and loan me money whether I have good credit or not. The pumpers tell me how powerful and sexy their cars and trucks are. All I have to do is buy one and I'll be the envy of my neighbors and have members of the opposite sex jumping into the front seat with me. I can't remember ever seeing a "green" car ad.

I Like It When You Talk Green To Me

I think the auto industry could build more excitement for green cars if they spent a little more time talking green and less time screaming and pumping.

But I've digressed. One thing I'm not confused about is the Smart Car's size. It's tiny. At just eight feet long, it looks like a toy. I'm not sure I want to share the highway with a bunch of SUV's in a Smart Car. It may have the brains, but they have the brawn.

The people who make Smart Cars say they're safe. They have a safety frame to protect the driver and passenger (only one will fit) in case of a crash. But those Hummers and SUV's have crash frames, too. Only theirs are bigger. I think this is a case where size matters.

So maybe a Prius, the ultimate "green" car. Well, not so fast. A friend of mine just drove from Denver to South Dakota and back with someone who owns a Prius. He doesn't drive over 60 because going faster than that reduces his gas mileage. And he only goes 300 miles a day because it takes a long time to go that far at the speeds he drives.

Keep in mind they drove through Wyoming. Folks are still in second gear at 60 miles per hour in Wyoming. And they drive 300 miles to buy a six pack. The Prius will never be a hot seller in Wyoming.

And when you take into account all the heavy metals used in the batteries and electrical wiring and the energy used to make and recycle the batteries the Prius is less green than a Jeep Wrangler, according to one report I read.

So, forget the car. I'll walk. Except Chris Goodall, considered by many to be the authority on limiting carbon emissions, says walking does more than driving to cause global warming because food production has become so energy-intensive the calories consumed walking to the store causes more carbon emissions than driving the same distance. As the Times of London put it: "The climate could benefit if people avoided exercise, ate less and became couch potatoes. Provided, of course, they remembered to switch off the TV."

I could stand to eat less. Or I could quit eating altogether. But then I'd end up in the hospital, which I'm sure would mean an even bigger carbon footprint. Or I'd end up on the other side of the grass, as fertilizer – the ultimate in being green. Someday. But I'm not ready for that just yet. There's a limit to how far I'm willing to go to be green, Kermit.