Issue 41   November 30, 2004 VOLUME 1 ISSUE 41  
CONTENTS
Industry Interview
Minding The Store
In The News
The Motivational Minuteİ
Swap & Shop
Industry Trade Shows
Trade Show Tip
The Spring Book Show Vendor Profiles
Did You Know?
Moves and Changes
Did You Know?
HELPING THE COMPUTER CHALLENGED
--Charles Boyle
 
Helpdesk: What kind of computer do you have?
Customer: A white one...
 
Helpdesk: Click on the 'my computer' icon on to the left of the screen.
Customer: Your left or my left?
 

Helpdesk: Good day. How may I help you?
Male customer: Hello ... I can't print.
Helpdesk: Would you click on start for me and ...
Customer: Listen pal; don't start getting technical on me! I'm not Bill Gates, damn it!

Hi, good afternoon. This is Martha. I can't print. Every time I try it says 'Can't find printer.'  I've even lifted the printer and placed it in front of the monitor, but the computer still says he can't find it...
 
Customer: I have problems printing in red...
Helpdesk: Do you have a color printer?
Customer: Aaaah....................thank you.
 
Helpdesk: What's on your monitor now, ma'am?
Customer: A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me in the supermarket.
 
Helpdesk: And now hit F8.
Customer: It's not working.
Helpdesk: What did you do, exactly?
Customer: I hit the F-key 8-times as you told me, but nothing's happening...
 
Customer: My keyboard is not working anymore.
Helpdesk: Are you sure it's plugged into the computer?
Customer: No. I can't get behind the computer.
Helpdesk: Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back.
Customer: OK
Helpdesk: Did the keyboard come with you?
Customer: Yes
Help desk: That means the keyboard is not plugged in. Is there another keyboard?
Customer: Yes, there's another one here. Ah ... that one does work!
 
Helpdesk: Your password is the small letter a as in apple, a capital letter V as in Victor, the number 7.
Customer: Is that 7 in capital letters?
 
A customer couldn't get on the internet.
Helpdesk: Are you sure you used the right password?
Customer: Yes I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it.
Helpdesk: Can you tell me what the password was?
Customer: Five stars.
 
Helpdesk: What antivirus program do you use?
Customer: Netscape.
Helpdesk: That's not an antivirus program.
Customer: Oh, sorry...Internet Explorer.
 
Customer: I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a screensaver on my computer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears!
 
Helpdesk: Microsoft Tech. Support, may I help you?
Old woman: Good afternoon! I have waited over four hours for you.  Can you please tell me how long it will take before you can help me?
Helpdesk: Uhh ... ? Pardon, I don't understand your problem ...
Old woman: I was working in Word and clicked the help button more than four hours ago.  Can you tell me when
you will finally be helping me?
 
Helpdesk: How may I help you?
Customer: I'm writing my first e-mail.
Helpdesk: OK, and, what seems to be the problem?
Customer: Well, I have the letter a, but how do I get the circle around it?

Source: Internet - Dan Poynter@ParaPublishing.com .
If you have a laugh to share, please send it to DanPoynter@ParaPublishing.com
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