Headlines that mean something entirely different then what is written are this issue’s feature.  Enjoy the reading and have fun.

• Man held over giant L.A. Brush Fire
• Two convicts evade noose; jury hung
• Stiff opposition expected to casketless funeral plan
• Police begin campaign to run down jaywalkers
• Deaf mute gets new hearing on killing
• Asbestos suit pressed
• Police discover crack in Australia
• House passes gas tax onto senate
• Traffic dead rise slowly
• Half-million women seen on pill
• Scientists to have Ford’s ear
• New housing for elderly not yet dead
• Farmer Bill dies in House
• Is there a ring of debris around Uranus
• Women’s movement called more broad-based
• Prostitutes appeal to Pope
• NJ Judge to rule on nude beach
• Reagan wins on budget, but more lies ahead
• Lawyers give poor free legal advice
• Shot off woman’s leg helps Nicolaus to 66
• Lawmen from Mexico barbecue guests
• Never withhold herpes infection from loved one
• Nicaragua sets goal to wipe our literacy
• 20 year friendship ends at altar
• Smokers are productive, but death cuts efficiency
• Blind women gets new kidney from dad she hasn’t seen in years