It wasn’t my fault. I’m not a bad guy. It was 4 in the morning and I was on a roll. I figured if the coffee held out I had a chance to beat Tom Cone’s record of 524 help posts in 24 hours on the Alpha Message board. I was having a difficult time seeing the monitor, my eyes were watering from screen radiation. I vaguely became aware of someone in the vicinity. It was my wife, she comes every six hours or so to interrupt me. "Honey, I think you need to shut off the computer and get some sleep." I can’t I replied, I’ve got Tom in my sights. I’m betting he went to bed, thinking no one would sneak up on him this late at night. "Tom who?" No, no, Tom Cone, you know, the worlds record holder of Alpha Help Messages. Next year in the summer Olympics I hear there is going to be a new event............ My wife laid a hand on my shoulder, "Honey, you haven’t typed anything for hours." Quiet, I’m in the middle of a substring extraction routine for the guy in Australia. "What guy in Australia?" Doesn’t matter, I replied, just one more help reply and I’ll catch up with Tom.

It was at that point that it hit me. The idea was born of desperation. The coffee was cold, the eyeballs rolled back, hope had waned....... and it hit me............. I knew how to beat Tom. Was it ethical............. no. Was it a good example for young Alpha coders.................... no. Did I care................….. no. It was beautiful in its simplicity, like an elegant algorithm, brevity of design lends grace to the output. How do you beat someone with 524 answers.... by having 525 questions.................. Now I wonder how much my ISP is going to charge me for the 525 new email addresses........................
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